Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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