I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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