it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
