omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
