Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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