Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
