Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm really busy with my period
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