Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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