There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
