I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
