just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's official drugs can't kill me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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