Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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