Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
