there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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