it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
