the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
