yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Someone shit on the floor
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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