I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
