I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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