Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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