she woke up with a sticky ear
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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