Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
two words: eviction party
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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