He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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