Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
