Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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