So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
