And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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