she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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