Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
