Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
