Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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