fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
