Jerry, you need to find god
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
