i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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