apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
