So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
