Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
kristin has been a bad kristin
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
