So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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