i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
