very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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