hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need help removing her.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
