Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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