these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
