heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
