my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
