life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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