I intend to get homeless drunk
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
