He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
