i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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