Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
