Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
