It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
