So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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