Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize