butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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