I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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