What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
