Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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