How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
last night I used snow as a chaser
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
