Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize