Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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