I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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