My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
