you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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