i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
